It wasn't me!
by dijip
Summary: This is a in which everyone gets kidnapped somehow or another, except for Artemis and co.
1. ESCAPE?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story, except for the characters that I made up. Note: This is my first ever fanfic, so please read and review.  
  
POLICE PLAZA Root and Holly were talking about where Mulch could have gone.  
  
"Well, all we know is that he is armed, that he has wings, and we  
  
can't start chasing him for another four hours." Root commented.  
  
"But in that time we can try to find out what he is doing." Holly  
  
proposed.  
  
Foaly poked his head into Root's office and said, "If you need me to  
  
help with anything I'm free."  
  
"Okay!" Said Holly, "Run a scan for that solinium based tracking stuff,  
  
see if there are any that could be a helmet."  
  
"Why?" asked Root.  
  
"Because Mulch can't go anywhere without a helmet, unless he wants  
  
his brains fried." Holly explained.  
  
A few minutes later, Foaly was back, he activated a plasma screen on  
  
Root's wall, stuck a disc into a drive, hit a few buttons, and brought up  
  
an image of the world with yellow dots on it.  
  
"This", he said "Is the world. The yellow dots are the pieces of LEP  
  
equipment." "These, we know what they are, who is using them, etc."  
  
He tapped some buttons, almost all of the dots disappeared.  
  
"That leaves exactly three pieces of equipment" Root said bitterly.  
  
"No problem" Said Foaly, ignoring Root's tone.  
  
"These two must be Artemis Fowl" he explained, "Because they're on  
  
his manor's grounds."  
  
"So the one over there must be mulch." Holly thought aloud.  
  
Root decided what to do very quickly.  
  
"Wake up Retrieval 1, and get them ready to leave here in 3 hours."  
  
SOMEWHERE OVER LA (ABOUT 3.5 HOURS LATER) Mulch soared through the air.  
  
He couldn't believe it.  
  
He had escaped Root, the LEP, and Artemis Fowl. Mulch had snagged  
  
some hummingbirds, an advanced helmet, a blackout suit, and a  
  
neutrino blaster. He had pilfered the equipment from the unguarded  
  
Koboi labs, where he escaped Root and the LEP.  
  
So he thought. 


	2. SEEING DOUBLE

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that I didn't make up.  
  
A/N: Thank you for the reviews I really appreciate them.  
  
CHAPTER 2: SEEING DOUBLE  
  
Root, Holly and Retrieval 1 were in a shuttle flying towards a maybe-  
  
Mulch.  
  
A radio started broadcasting Foaly's voice into the passenger  
  
Area: "Your worshipness Commander Root sir, we have another trace  
  
that could be Mulch, I have Retrieval 2 on it, they say that this Mulch  
  
has broken into three mud dwellings, and they will have him in ten  
  
minutes. Foaly out."  
  
"Good," said Root, "Holly, go follow him, we'll follow you."  
  
"Oh, and don't do anything stupid." He added sounding worried.  
  
"Okay Commander." Said Holly, irritated that Root thought that she  
  
would do something stupid.  
  
Actually, Root was right to be worried about Holly, because once  
  
again, she would make history, and once again it would be the HERE-  
  
COMES-THE-HINDENBURG kind of history, AKA, bad history. But none  
  
the less, she put on some wings and flew into the night air.  
  
The instant she left the shuttle, Mulch turned around and fired at  
  
Holly.  
  
She was hit with a bright blue beam in the face.  
  
Holly fell to the ground, stunned.  
  
OVER LA  
  
Mulch looked back to see if anyone was following him, suddenly, a  
  
figure appeared 80 feet behind him. He pulled out his handgun and  
  
fired. The figure fell to the earth. Then 23 beams fired at him from the  
  
shuttle. The last thing he could remember was: "Crud, they found  
  
me."  
  
INTERROGATION ROOM, POLICE PLAZA  
  
Mulch was thinking about what he should say to Root, when Root  
  
himself came in. Root was straight to the point, "You have been  
  
convicted of theft, Murder, and flying unshielded over LA."  
  
"All I stole was some wings and a blaster, I didn't kill anyone, and I  
  
did fly over LA." Mulch corrected.  
  
"No, you robbed a house in Malawi, and you vaporized Captain Sho-"  
  
He was cut off because the door opened and two officers escorted  
  
Mulch into the room.  
  
Everyone gaped.  
  
Mulch was flabbergasted "You- I- That isn't-"  
  
The sentences just wouldn't come.  
  
Root spoke first "Who are you?" he asked Mulch 2.  
  
"Mulch Diggums." Said a flawless Diggum's voice. 


	3. I AM YTRA!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for Grappa and "Ytra"  
  
A/N: For all you Holly fans, she's not dead. And for all you Artemis  
  
fans, He's in this chapter.  
  
Chapter 3: IT WASN'T ME!!!!!  
  
FOWL MANOR 5 HOURS BEFORE WE LEFT OFF  
  
Artemis woke up to his alarm clock playing Avril Lavigne. He thought  
  
to himself, I have got to stop leaving my alarm clock around, or else  
  
Juliet will keep on programming it to play awful music.  
  
Then he got a brainwave. He quickly grabbed some equipment and  
  
plugged it all in to the alarm clock. Then he snuck over to Juliet's  
  
printer Grabbed the color ink cartridge emptied it. He smiled to himself  
  
as he went downstairs. Today he decided, he would test his latest  
  
invention, the duplicator. It was a machine that could project an image  
  
of something, but it would show up as a human being on any  
  
scanners, human or fairy. Yesterday he tested it for human beings,  
  
and today he was trying fairies.  
  
"Good morning," he said to everyone in the kitchen, which was his  
  
mom, dad, Juliet, and Butler.  
  
Everyone grunted back, obviously no one had made coffee yet. Coffee  
  
was Juliet's new obsession. She drank five mugs every morning, which  
  
resulted in her being hyper till noon. That was when she had her daily  
  
ten bars of candy. In other words Juliet is hyper every day from seven  
  
AM- twelve PM. Artemis had his breakfast, then he went into the  
  
basement and opened the secret door to his laboratory. His parents  
  
didn't know about the lab because he told them that he spent his time  
  
down there working out with the exercise equipment that is in what  
  
was Holly's cell in her previous visit. Artemis looked around the room  
  
and exclaimed, "What the heck happened here?"  
  
Butler was there in an instant "What's wrong?"  
  
"The duplicator, it's gone!"  
  
"Who would have taken it?"  
  
"The People, it has to be them!"  
  
"Why would they take it?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"How could we find out if it was them?"  
  
"We pay them a visit in the ATOMIZER MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
POLICE PLAZA INTERROGATION ROOM  
  
"No you're not," Exclaimed Mulch 1 "I am."  
  
Suddenly Mulch 2 pressed a button on the table and a plasma screen  
  
came up, he said aloud "Send the clips."  
  
On the viewscreen, the shadowy distorted figure of an elf appeared, it  
  
said "I am Ytra supreme ruler of the universe, you shall all die!  
  
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"  
  
Then the viewscreen showed Holly unconscious in a concrete cubicle.  
  
The screen went blank.  
A/N: What do you think? More Holly? More Artemis? More Root? More Juliet? More Butler? What? Thanks to all who reviewed!! 


	4. GRAPPA HAS COME TO HAUNT YOU!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for Grappa and "Ytra", and I will use Grappa this chapter.  
  
A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed, I'm at 5 already!! Special thanks to "Jenni," who reviewed twice. Artemis people, you will find out what he did to his alarm clock soon. Holly people, she's in this chapter. Kelp people, sorry. Grappa and Ytra people, . wait, you haven't met them yet.  
  
OK enough blabbing, here's CHAPTER FOUR  
  
CHAPTER FOUR: GRAPPA HAS COME TO HAUNT YOU!  
  
FOWL MANOR  
  
Artemis was trying to think of a reason to justify leaving for a while,  
  
when he heard a high-pitched scream. He chuckled to himself, Juliet it  
  
seemed, had tried to reset his alarm, as a result, she had gotten a  
  
shirt-full of ink. Artemis chuckled. He hit the house intercom button  
  
and said, "Mom, Dad, Butler and I are going skiing for a couple days,  
  
we'll be back in 3-4 days."  
  
SOME PLACE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE  
  
Holly woke up looking at some type of creature, she blinked.  
  
"Aha, it's alive!!."  
  
"What are you?" Holly asked, thoroughly confused.  
  
"I am the one, the only, GRAPPA!!!!!"  
  
"Where am I?" she inquired.  
  
"You are with GRAPPA!!!!!"  
  
"What happened to me?" she asked Grappa, not expecting an answer.  
  
"You land on GRAPPA'S head."  
  
"Do you know anything?" She tried, almost fearing the answer.  
  
"I know that I am GRAPPA, you are with GRAPPA, and you fell on  
  
GRAPPA'S head."  
  
"Forget it."  
  
"GRAPPA can't remember a thing!!!!"  
  
"Good."  
  
"GRAPPA is not good, GRAPPA excellent!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"GRAPPA up your shut!"  
  
"AH!!"  
  
"Uh-oh did GRAPPA kill it?"  
  
"GERKLMERKL *Grumbles endlessly* GRRRRRH."  
  
"GRAPPA a GERKLMERKL'N GRRRRRH!"  
SMACK!  
  
"You hit GRAPPA, you hit GRAPPA!" (Passes out)  
  
A/N: Sorry this chapter was so short. Tell me what you think! 


	5. FINDING YTRA

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for Grappa and Ytra.  
  
A/n: Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, I was away on a school trip for a week. Well, here's chapter five!  
  
CHAPTER 5: FINDING YTRA  
  
POLICE PLAZA, OP BOOTH  
  
There was a rare scene in the operations booth, Root was helping  
  
Foaly with finding out who and where Ytra was.  
  
"Hey Foaly! I've got it!" Root yelled.  
  
"What did you find?" Foaly asked.  
  
"Ytra backwards spells Arty! Artemis Fowl's Nickname! He's Ytra!" Root  
  
explained, "We have to arrest him! Now!"  
  
Suddenly a tremendous explosion rocked the entire city. Alarms went  
  
off everywhere, shrieks and curses filled the air. Everyone in police  
  
plaza drew their sidearm. When the dust settled, the reinforced doors  
  
were gone. In their place was a small, slender, shiny craft, with no  
  
weapons visible. A door opened, and a fairy came out in what was a  
  
LEP above ground suit.  
  
The fairy said in gnomish, "Commander Root, surrender."  
  
"Never." Came the reply.  
  
"Very well then." The fairy said.  
  
The fairy got back in its craft. The LEP opened fire on the small ship.  
  
No matter how many shots they fired, the beams would bend away  
  
from the craft. Every time the ship returned fire, a LEP officer would  
  
fall to the ground, until only Root and Foaly remained. The fairy got  
  
out of the ship.  
  
"Now will you surrender?" It inquired.  
  
"No, there is only one person we have lost to, and you shall not make  
  
it two." Root retorted.  
  
"Even if I do beat you, you shall have still only lost to one creature."  
  
The fairy informed Root.  
  
"Fowl." Root muttered, "D'arvit you've got us where you want us  
  
again, don't you, you're holding captain Short hostage, you have  
  
Haven at your disposal, and you have duplicated Mulch."  
  
"You're wrong there about everything but the part about Haven."  
  
Artemis said. "So, either you can get taken hostage, or you can return  
  
the duplicator to me."  
  
"We don't have your duplicator, Artemis."  
  
And with that, he let loose a round at Artemis. The instant his finger  
  
hit the trigger, Butler grabbed Artemis and pulled him into the  
  
Atomizer, just in time. Then the Atomizer disappeared.  
  
UNKNOWN LOCATION  
  
Holly was trying to find a way out of her cell. The walls were very  
  
solid, they sloped up to form a triangular prism, with a small hole at  
  
the top.  
  
"Grappa, how big is that hole?"  
  
"GRAPPA doesn't know Shortyshort."  
  
"Why did I tell you my name?"  
  
"GRAPPA doesn't know Shortyshort."  
  
~SMACK~  
  
"Oh no, Shortyshort hit GRAPPA again! Shortyshorty must say sorry."  
  
~CHOKE THUD~  
  
"Take that Shortyshort!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Please tell me what you think. I'm open to suggestions. Whoever submits the best idea by May 20th gets their idea next used chapter. Please no romance! 


	6. KIDNAPPED!

Disclaimer: I still don't own things that belong to other people.  
  
AN: Okay, it's been a while since I've written, that's cause I thought my story sucked, but then along came the review-emails and I decided to keep writing.  
  
CHAPTER SEVEN: KIDNAPPED!  
  
Inside the Atomizer.  
  
"Fly around Root and Foaly." Artemis commanded.  
  
"Okay Artemis." Responded Butler.  
  
Police Plaza.  
  
"D'arvit!" Root cursed, "That D'arvit'n D'arvit got away from us!"  
  
"Commander, we have a problem." Foaly informed him nonchalantly.  
  
"D'arvit Foaly I know that!"  
  
Then he disappeared.  
  
"Commander!" Foaly cried, sounding exasperated.  
  
Then a very strong something grabbed his shoulder, and all he could remember was that he suddenly got very, very cold.  
  
Unknown location.  
  
Holly woke up with a debilitating headache.  
  
"Ow." Was all she could manage.  
  
"Welcome." Said a chilling voice.  
  
She opened her eyes. A gigantic figure appeared before her.  
  
"Oh Frond! What are you?" She asked, horrified.  
  
"Oh Frond! What is it?" Mocked the huge figure of Grappa.  
  
"Give me back my equipment!" she demanded.  
  
"As you wish." Responded the chilling voice.  
  
The figure reached into a giant drawer, and pulled out a huge pistol and helmet, and dropped them at Holly's feet. They seemed to be replicates of her things, Unless.  
  
The mere thought of what might have happened chilled her to the bone.  
  
"What have you done to me?" She cried.  
  
"Not much my petite friend." Cackled the giant.  
  
AN: What do you think? See that pretty little button at the bottom left corner of your screen? Click on the part that says GO. WHEN YOU REVIEW, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO HOLLY, AND GIVE ME A NEW CHARACTER IDEA TO. FIRST PERSON WITH THE CORRECT ANSWER GETS THEIR CHARACTER USED NEXT FEW CHAPTERS.  
  
~dijip~ 


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